seahorse

bonjour!

i always start with that french greeting so that u r aware of ability to speak french ok. (just so u know) now so much for avoiding the dissertation,. i'm gonna write a super long entry. sooo long it will take a lifetime to finish reading it.

here it comes, the result is gonna be out in few days. still keeping my fingers crossed. and i really cannot take fail for a result this time around. i would kill if i have to. rather than having to come back earlier in august for a resit! ok let's put that aside for now and rant about something more cheerful, shall we? ranting and cheerful? dont collocate at all.

last month has witnessed me on the edge of commiting suicide. i've wasted almost a month of my life. those are the moments in life i'd never get back. no network, no job, no one to talk to, no telly, no traveelling, no nothing!it was a complete nightmare. the connection was down for few weeks and left me no choice but to read books. dont ask.

d heck? i am not an avid reader. but i can read. but reading would only fall second after internet and movies ok. nothing i can do in this life of mine to change it. it is decided long time ago that my language development should just stay between me and watching movies. and tv series. and facebook. and scrubs. ok enuff with that bullshit. and chess titan has made me sick. it was soo painful.being disconnected from the world and playing chess against the computer.so loser. and sitting in my room staring at the wall, the world seemed to stop.

but suddenly reality slapped me right in the face. well, if the world has survived for thousand years without youtube and facebook. then why should it come to an end now? yeah, why should it? just because i couldn connect, it's not the end of the world right? what a brilliant child i am to be able to think like that. and how i want myself to believe that. but no. it is simply absurd. it IS the end of the world. for me. but now that i've got my life back, let's just pass on that one.

meanwhile, guess who is not packing for home yet. yes. me.i am somewhat surprised by the fact that i still havent even started packing for my huliday. what happens to all those balik kampung spirit? that home-is-where-ur-heart is spirit. ok2, lemme spill this to u. i'm going on a huliday. yes, this time my dream huliday destination is....temerloh bandar ikan patin!!!! so cool...it thrills me just to think that i am less than one week away from home.

mind u, this is my first trip abroad alone. on my own. quite nervous here i must admit. wat if something bad happen? who should i lean to? i dun wanna miss that flight. thinking of that alone makes me shiver. i dont wanna mess up. i just...wanna go home... honestly, this foreign land is really eating my soul. soul sister...alrite2, i love it here, but not when i am penniless.

well...a super long entry huh? even the sky has limit. u shud be ashamed of urself that for giving that false premise z.