dear life, gimme a break

forgive me for writing this pointless entry. again, my entries are all pointless. last night was the first night of last tenth. means lailatulqadar is around the corner.n i find myself here staring at the screen thinking hard of wat to think. of course this i do after i've finished the witir kan. now, let's proceed with the ranting. if u think talking nonsense is fun, then it is.

ok, this is the thing: today, everyone will be home. my sis, my sis, my sis, n finally my sis will be back for my departure. on top of that, everyone will be sending me off this weekend. n isnt dat awesome? i will be the person of the day. i love the sound of it. hopefully i'll be juz fine dealing wif all the forget-me-not session. well, crying will be part of the celebration. wat a farewell it will be.

for over the past few days, i was so boring. honestly, since even before that, i was also bored to death.i'm about to start my life in a whole new way. yet, why dont i feel happy at all? too scared too feel happy i guess. the thought of messing up really freaks me out. i always mess up. that's the sole reason why i've done wif packing almost three months ago. see, how excited i was.

packing is really messing up wif me lately. but the gud news is, i only have 20 sumthing. n i'm thinking hard right now wat to put in order to maximize the weight. how i love a light luggage n i'm having a good time right now deciding the next item to bring...n at certain point of sanity, i choose to bring anchovy.

before moving on to this next phase in life, there are things i need to settle. some loose ends that needs to be tied up. or in other words, some housekeeping matters. like feeding my fish for the very last time? ha, i'm bluffing i don even have a fish to start on. or fighting wif sis n smack her like i always do? coz pasni xleh nk smack dh. i'll be missing them so much. ..n mom, i'll be missing u as well n not to forget all the nagging. i'm sorry for not being there to listen to it anymore. hehe...

p/s: i've lost some weigth

till then, so long family.

blogging has become responsiblity

pardon me for saying so but it is for me now. not that people are looking forward to read my blog but i juz feel like it is my responsibility to update it when i still can. like if u are surfing the net without having to look up for any information on assgnment, n see that there is a space to post ur entry, blogging has really become a responsibility for me.

sambung cite malam td, when the boys threw something dangerous at my face for the second time, guess i needed to do sumthing bout it. n that sumthing was teaching him a lesson. i still remember the way i dashed at him dramatically n grabbed him at his arms (the six year old boy wif unacceptable behaviour) n screamed at his face at the top of my lung. i screamed frantically but i dunno wat did i scream. i dunno what has got into me at that time, i was sooooo mad i did that in front of the mother(bcoz that stupid boy was running at his mother). people around me were looking with their curious look. their faces were saying diz: wat's wrong this girl? kene posses ke ape?n i dont give a damn wif wat they were saying coz sabar mmg dh ilang mase tu. n kalo ikutkan ati mmg rse nk spank je dat boy kc pengsan.

n then at that very moment, i heard the mom asked her second son to go look for his father. afraid that i might kill his son kot. the next thing i knew i was sitting on a bench wif the sound of blood running at my ears. my heart was beating like hell for the uncontrolled anger n the screaming. as i'd expected the mom came to me and scolding me for doing dat to his son.pdhal aku screaming je belum cekik lg anak die tu. she accused me for being childish n making a scene in front of a crowd of people. i pretend not to listen to her but i know that some guys there who are very used to the boy agree wif me silently that her son should really be getting into henry gurney as soon as possible, or else somebody might get killed. .

after all, i'm glad the screaming served him well. n my auntie is always by my side no matter wat happen. n grandmom too. they know the boy very well to agree wif me. and the incident last night has really taught me a good lesson. a very good one. the lesson of how to raise ur kid the appropriate way. when i say appropriate, i mean right.it may be way too long for me to raise a kid of my own, but probably other people should know how to take care of theirs without people complaining the children's uncontrolled mischievousness.

firstly, kids should be punished if they have misdone, and this should be done right there on the spot where u catch them of the misdeed. show them who is charge n they will remember it forever. for example, if ur boy says some swearing words, u really need to do sumthing bout it. first, take some chillies in the fridge and feed the boy with them. u only do this one time. and it sticks in their head forever. the sight of kene cili dgn lada will always role in their head when they sleep at night. next time they are thinking of doing it again, they wont, taking ur past cruel punishment into consideration. that is not all, they will become afraid of you once in a while for ur active participation in punishing the misdoers. hahaha.

secondly, if they are asking for something ridiculous, let say, handphone or motorcycle to go to school or internet connection at home maybe,(and of course this only applies for ur kids who are still schooling), juz tell them bout ur story in the past when people didnt even wear shoes to school, n nasi lemak was still 10 sen, and ice cream was nowhere to be seen, n if they still dont get the message, that means NO. a no-no answer will make them realize that they wont get things without having to fight wif a concrete reason. let them say watever they want at ur back, but don ever let them disobey u, coz when they have turned into teenagers, the challenge will be a lot difficult and the method will become different too. and this i will touch in depth in my next entry.

tot-wat-d...

i hate that boy. that fat ugly boy who always pissed me off. i hate his mom as well. thinking that there will be a very little possiblity that they will come across this blog, i am so eager to tell u diz. i believe i may have gone little too much with the boy, but frankly speaking, he needs it. only a punch in the face that he needs. that is all he needs. a punch in the face. yeah, i like the sound of it. but wat kept me from doing it juz now was his mom who dunno wat is the best for his son. dunno how to behave. people may say that i am being childish, but he has gone overboard. really over the board. if u were in my place u must have felt the same way. he is probably not a major issue in my life. but totally a nuissance. u know, like sumthing that u really need to get rid of it, or else u will die of not getting rid of it. Ya Allah, tabahkan hatiku menghadapi anak jiran ni...

so?

hey, so i have done nothing interesting today. nothing at all. i always picture myself travelling around the europe but never once i thought bout the study part which happens to be the most important one. ape ke gile sy ni. oh tuhan....tunjukkan ku jalan menempuhi dugaan ini....i am rather surprise why time moves so fast...i might not be very good in putting thought into words. becoz it was never thoughtful thing i've been writing about from the past few months. but before that past few months, it was. hehe.

i am so at risk of being called syok sendiri writer. but again, diz is MY blog. n mine alone. n wat's wrong wif doing my part in bloggers trafficking nowadays. that is how everything works. right? Ya Allah....y am i saying diz? coz i feel guilty of writing useless entry. entry that wont be beneficial to others. i wanna be like those who are advertising n sellling things out there. feel like selling stuff....but the problem is, wat stuff?

i'm learning french. for the sake of learning ok. people say it's the language of love. is it? but it's still not the lughatul jannah. therefore, we have to learn arabic to be able to communicate in jannah. hehe. it doesnt work like that. not that easy.ingat senang ke nak masuk syurga. jauh ramai penghuni neraka dari penghuni syurga tau. yeah, bout learning french, it's interesting. u should give it a try. i learned arabic when i was in high school, but my grade was awful n shame on me for not doing well in arabic.nevertheless, i am still very fond of language i must sayn i will have plenty of time to improve on that.

how i love being a tesl student. need not to juggle my time between books n books. my life is forever enjoy....muahaha....so much for avoiding the books, hehe...

hypocondriac (sumone who thinks he'she suffers from all disease in the world).

let me tell u a story of my fever. i got a weird illness recently. demam kura-kura. but this time, a very weird one. my stomach was giving me a hard time and i was not happy wif it. there was a time when i felt like getting rid of it. but the problem was how? how to get rid of ur stomach? i have never read in books. then it stopped. but that's not the end of it. it struck again the next day. n it lasted longer. thousand of bad things rushed into my mind. i went through healthcare magazine to find out wat was the real problem wif me. it occured to me that i might suffer from gastric, or appendix maybe?or a serious disease that might kill me one day. for some reason, my mind kept telling me to go n kill myself. i was freaked out. i spent way too long worrying my disease when my auntie gave me this premicon n telling me it was the solution for my stomachache. maybe she was right. so i tried it n yeah, she was right. she's always right. the gases was gone in no time. rupenye prolongue heartburn due to indigestion. turned out that i was wrong. again. end of story.

talking about hypocondriac, i think i am one.

hlovate

today i wanna write sumthing brilliant. sumthing that makes sense. sumthing thoughtful, beautiful, n meanignful. but wat is it suppose to be? keep thinking z....thinking very hard now..o,o...looks like i have nothing in mind. wateva.

ha, got sumthing. lately my aunt n my cousin have been busy with the new hlovate books they bought online. it was their first shopping online. a very gud sense of humour the author has i would say. good books indeed. but i havent read it. n i am never going to. it's jus dat once my aunt finish her reading, i will have to know everything. not dat i ask. i was forced to listen to her. n yeah, force. n god knows how excited she was. at first i wonder wat was so special bout this hlovate. then i decided to flip through one of the book only to find out that i cant help but to agree wif my aunt.

i'm not into romance. strictly not into it. i mean, why look for it in story books if we can find one in real life? bluek. even fairy tales do not have happy ending after all. why look for the same story line if we can have something excitingly unexpected. like horror movies. now, dat is a different story. but that is wat we call entertainment. but again, different people, different watsoeva.

back to hlovate. is it true that there is love between hate. it took me quite sumtime to figure out the meaning of hlovate. see, how not genius i am. but then again i strongly agree wif the motion of the day. love between hate. i always hate my siblings. no love. actually, there is. but only a little. i love my mom. sometimes menyampah gak. it's normal. i am a rebellious teenager. otherwise i wont be here writing this stupid blog of mine.

for those who have read hlovate. well done. u guys have been succesfully engaging urself with a great comedy romantic, according to my sisterla kan coz she said that so far it was the best book she has ever come across. when she told me the setting of the story, it makes me dreaming of holland more dan eva. the tulip n the lavender. my aunt pnye pasalla ni. she is very fond of flowers. n dragging me along to become a die hard fan of floral2 stuff ni.

get back to u later. nk berbuka puasa. camat berbuka puasa.

i'm so occupied wif my pet right now. fyi, i've got like almost 40 thousand in my account n dunno how to spend the money. i mean, in my pet society accountla...adus...boringnye tulis blog syok sendiri nih...

it's gonna be a long entry

the pre-departure briefing .basically, it was over. finally. but the hardest part is the waiting part...n b4 i forget, ramadhan is here. n then it will be syawal's turn. n wat is dat supposed to mean? celebrating my first raya away from family. i know i sound very calm but i am. luckily i've finished wif all the packing. actually it was my grandmom who did all the packing. i didnt bother at all. juz threw all my stuff into the luggage n dat's it.my job was done.thanx to enrich grad for allowing us another extra ten kilos.

back to my story of the predeparture briefing. i'm dying to tell u sumthing mr blog. i am a rich person. at least i think i am. to tell u the truth, i have no bloody idea wat i'm gonna do wif my cash. it is mine. n mine only. like, who cares ? neway, pardon me for the showing off, but i'm so very hepi to be a rich person. cant help picturing myself buying stuff and travelling around the europe with the cheque. haha. ok, enough z, u can continue dreaming later but for now, wake up!

after getting my 5 months allowance in advance during the pre departure briefing, i feel like the world is mine. bluek. hehe. the real thing i feel as a rich person is dat worrying my life away. n not to forget the travellers cheque. thank god it is covered by insurance. otherwise i must have built a safety box in my house. cant imagine how a millionaire always feels about his money.

my lounge suite is too loose. before this, i thought i will not fit in the measurement but it turned out the other way round. myb i need to gain more weight to fit in.haha. more weight. wat a scary words. by the way, i look like a moron inside it. altering last minute would be annoying. for some reason, i dont wanna wear it. but refusing to wear dat thing is not an option for me.

my flight will be on the 13th of september. uk, here i come. i might as well enjoy my first journey on a flight. i've never been in one. pathetic, am i? but again, who cares. the thrill is always there. n the fright of involving in a car crash as well. although i am really not sure how the journey would be but i know i will remember it for the rest of my life. congratulation to myself for being the first one in my family. i know my dad is very proud of me. who wont?

i remain curious of what might happen b4 i fly. wat if i dont make it b4 september? or, wat if i get a flu n then i die? or wat if sumthing bad happen n then i will still die? nauzubillahiminzalik. tp kalo dh ajal nk wat camne kan. my mom said it should be the last thing on earth i should worry about. yet, diz is still my last ramadhan here. n it will still be after another three years.

ramadhan has been more than a week, and i've mastered a lot of recipes already.ngeh3. i love to cook most of the time. especially when i am in a cooking mode. i've learned a lot for the past few months n thanx to acu n umi for that. not that i dont love u mom, but we dont get to be together very often. dat still doesnt make u a bad cook after all.

watever it is or watever i shall leave behind, i'm sure some people will miss me.gonna spend my last meaningful moment wif family.....n learning french.

I AM A LOUSY PERSON

yes, you read the title right...i am.. i never can remember where do i put my phone after using it. never.n never had i cooked without getting myself burnt.wat an annoying gene i had inherit from my mom.n my grandmom told me that i will get killed one day if i keep myself doing work in the kitchen for the next 30 years...after all, nothing to be ashamed of...right? it is sooo me.

dear blog

please don get me wrong, but i't just suck when u cant control urself from being fat. lately i've been eating like mad. like i'm not gonna eat for the rest of my life. God help me! i'm losing my mind. gaining another kg is my greatest fear right now and yeah, not to mention the unfinished ridiculous assgnment i need to submit in two weeks time.wish me gud luck for dat.. i really need it. i mean, the Graphic organizer was fine but the reflection, i couldnt even use my brain to think bout it. the real pain is to write it in a formal language which is obviously not my speciality. and dat's all. tengkiu for reading...it turns out that blogging is boring. at least for the time being.

sunway lagoon...

presenting u....my kazen

feeding the bear, scary though

do we look alike

look up

it's the counter.cool huh?

captain jack

our tube

sun bathing

tggu air jatuh dr atas

at the light house

sunway lagoon...

few.....

peace....

shipwreck

toilet

map

drive thru shower

peace again

aum3...

letih ar asik wat peace je

babai...

i am fired!

here comes the hectic moment again....thank God i was fired from my job...hehe...i hate to put it dat way. actually, i was not reallyy fired, but they said the PPD doesnt have any budget for guru ganti. d heck? isolated case abis. x pnah aku dgr cikgu ganti xde peruntukan. sarapla cikgu skolah tu nk relief class cikgu tgh maternity leave tu...haha...serve them right. by firing me, they dunno wat they have juz missed!

btw, do i get any bonus pouint if i care? teaching there was no fun at all. with small kids who didnt even pay attention to me, i felt like i'd prefer to be gone with the wind. hopefully none of the teachers there will come across my blog.huhu. otherwise i'll be a dead meat.

however, a week teaching in a primary school does give me a lesson and a preview of my life for the next 20 years. (if i happen to get my degree by then). to tell the truth, it is no bed of roses at all... so, i just stick to my stand that i am not ready to be a teacher yet. the time will come but not now, that is for sure. those kids, selak suh aq cite antu, pas cite antu, cite antu. x seram lansung lak tu aku cite.busan tahap nyamuk. darah tinggi dibuatnye, nk blasah kang anak org...

thank God for laying an opportunity in front of me to run away from there. a perfect time and a perfect coincidence. i was thinking of quitting, but instead of being succesful in making a move, i was fired! at least xla nampak kuang ajar sgt aku ni kan. juz it was quite hard for me to hide my smiling face in front of the headmaster when he apologized to me. u r juz doing the right thing, sir.

hohoho..i feel like christmas all over again...

i'm back

it has been a very long time since i last posted my blog. to be precise since i got my result. since then mmg dh hepy sgt coz we all make it to go to england. b4 kua result, bukan men nervous post mcm2 kat blog. after that, mmg x ingat duniala enjoy kan....nothing to be discussed...only enjoy the life to the fullest. only do wat i wanna do.....

by the way, sadly, i will be having not much time jugak after this due to the fact that i'll be working as a teacher starting from tomorrow...sounds challenging and thrilling isnt it? b4 the exam, yes, it did...but now, i wonder why i feel so reluctant to go....new environment, surrounded by school children....change is juz painful for me. especially when i feel so secured with my life...but it's gud in a sense that i get to do sumthing rather than juz sit at home busy gaining weight

friday i'll be doing my mantoux test...juz to know wether or not i've got this disease called tb. it' s funny how life works. i'm so terrified of injection that i never thought it was painless at all....i didnt have the gut even to look at it when the physician was taking my blood. n he juz laughed at my expression after everything was done.it's so funny when i juz made a fool of myself by awkwardly asking is he going to take my blood some more? hahaha....stupid...

yeah...i am stupid indeed..since i was small, i memang awfully afraid of cut n blood, only if it happens to me la kan...dlm violent movies xpe...coz i know they juz fake it...but in real life, even a small cut at my finger i can scream like hell. n that juz annoys everyone near me...especially my lil sis who usually asks me to stop exagerrating. now let me make it clear to all of u, i am not exaggerating.....i juz cant stand the thought of having a cut finger! if u dont believe me juz ask my housemates..they all are very well aware of my disease y satu ni....juz cant help itla...it's juz my nature to exaggerate cut...haha.

this evening, my uncle was taken into the nearest for experiencing his glucoma...again. it's kind of scary to us u know...hypoglucose ni jd bile kite pass out ncan be fatal if u dont get conscious for some time...my aunt kate she was scared to death facing such situation when her brother didnt wake up untill she had to call the ambulance...anyway, who wont? hopefully he'll take a gud care of himself after diz...

k, need to pack my things for the next stage of life...till i log in again.

MY TRIP TO GENTING HIGHLAND...

find the difference...xde keje

result is today

this waiting is torturing me. someone pliz do sumthing so that i wont suffer diz any longer....it's almost one, n we still got nothing...no phone call, no news at yahoo group....i wish i can fast forward diz life so dat i would have known my result by now...oooooooooooooohhhhhhh...............

result is tomorro!

dear blog,

i'm dead. not really dead...but i feel like i am. in other words, i'm drowning in the sea of nervousness waiting for the result that will be unofficially out by tomorro n looking forward to sleep tonight so that i can face yesterday as soon as possible...really cant wait...yesterday was sis's bufday n she'll be home tomorrow... well, i am no longer happy to get this anxiousness over with, instead, i'm too scared to face my future...Ya Allah..help me...i should pray harder now...

yesterday i cooked for the whole family as my mom is away attending a course somewhere in terengganu n it turned out that i'm not a bad cook after all. despite some of my ungrateful sisters kept complaining that my soup is ayam masak kurma, i am still damn proud of myself for they survived the day with my cooking.

ini bukan masak kurma ek, tp sup

kobis goreng ala zz

n this afternoon, it was ipah's turn(my little form 4 sister). i wonder why her cooking is always better than mine. mine always less salt ar..less sugarl...itu ar...ini ar...sometimes i juz know that i was not meant to be in kitchen...ngeh3..nk kene look for maidla ni.ape pnye foreshadowla...i hope my cooking wont horrified my husband in future though...

ipah's menu...x bes lnsung

ok...enough with da merapu thing...now let'sfocus on my result..i wish i pass..that's all i want...nothing else...n then i can start shopping, and shop till i drop...i hope not drop deadla ek....

i have to admit that i am about to die of nervousness here...we are waiting for a call tommoro...a dreadful call...nobody wants to get it.neither do i..feel like turning my phone off so i wont get it...wat a foolish action kan....but that's the only thing that i can think of right now...